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Portland, Oregon, United States

Friday, August 13, 2010

Unsafe at any speed.

Katie was in a car accident.  She is fine and the lady who she pulled out in front of is fine too.  I feel really bad for her because I know exactly how she feels.  I took a left turn right in front of somebody too when I was 17.  It is the worst feeling ever.

Luckily for Katie she has a very sympathetic family.  As of yesterday every member of my family has been in a car accident that was our fault and totaled at least one car (in my case it was two.)  It's weird because I wouldn't consider anybody in my family a bad driver (although the people we got into accidents with might disagree.)

After my first accident every adult child had already been in an accident and my mom made each of us a framed certificate and gave them to us for Christmas (my accident was on 12/3/1998.)  There is a picture of a tow truck on it and it says "The Williams Family.  Established 1973.  Our Motto: Unsafe at any Speed."

My mother was really hoping her baby would avoid the Williams family fate.  Unfortunately my father's bad luck with cars was genetically engineered into his children.  And so here it is the day after the accident.  A family made whole with mangled cars in our wake.

So here is a warning to the good people of Portland, Vancouver and Wilsonville.  We are out there.  We are driving in your neighbors, on your streets, in your school zones.  I suggest you drive defensively because heaven knows, we aren't. 

You have been warned.

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