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Portland, Oregon, United States

Monday, May 17, 2010

I am the eggman.

I have a recurring nightmare.  It involves heat, newspapers and an egg.  I was recently telling Katie and Birdy about it at one of our craft nights and it was weird telling people about it because I don't think I ever have.  It one of those things about dreams.  While I find mine haunting and fascinating I find other people's lame and boring.  And I don't think it is because other people's dreams are boring, it's just that other people's dreams are boring.  Wait.  Does that make sense?  Let me try this again.  It's not that I find hearing about dreams boring, I'm just surprised how other people seem to have boring dreams.  Well, it makes sense inside my head.  (it makes me mad inside my head.)

I think I had the dream for the first time when I was eleven, maybe twelve.  I was doing my brother's paper route while he was at the National Guard during the summer.  Oh wait, this isn't the dream, all this stuff is true, I'm just setting up where I was at when I had it.  There was this creepy looking house on the corner one block up from my house.  I forget the name of the street, I think it started with a C.  I'm not even sure I delivered a paper to that house, but I always found it creepy because it was old and the paint was peeling off the walls and the yard was completely overgrown and scary looking.  Plus, I had heard lots of rumors about who lived it that house.  Double Plus, I had just read To Kill a Mockingbird for the first time, so I imagine I had Boo on the brain.  I used to always hold my breath when I rode my bike by the house.  And when I used to walk up to the bus stop in Junior High I could swear I heard noises coming from the yard, but by that point I had already started having the dream so that might have had something to do with it.

Anyhoot, here's the dream:

It's like 3 in the afternoon and I am doing my paper route and when I come to that house some old creepy looking guy hollers at me to come up because he wanted to pay his paper bill (us paper route kids didn't collect the money for the Mail Tribune, so that part is inaccurate and I'm not even sure I delivered to that house in the first place, but you have to make some allowances because this is only a dream.)  It was REALLY hot that day (like every summer in Medford) and I'm sweaty and creeped out, but I still walk up the driveway to the house.  The old guy is just standing there and he is all sweaty and creepy.  He is really tall and thin and is wearing a stained white tee-shirt and smiling all gross like a pedophile or something.  Then he starts talking about how hot it is and how you could fry an egg out here.

Then the screen door opens and I look up at the front door and this disturbing fella comes out onto the porch.  He is all messed up.  Big guy and kind of hunched over and he has this enormous, misshapen head.  He is bald and sweat is dripping down his face.  The old guy goes "oh, that's just my brother" and then the brother pulls an egg out of his pocket, cracks it on his head and it sizzles like it just hit a hot frying pan.

And then I wake up.  Horrified.  It's always the same dream and I've had it now for 18 years.  I just started realizing that I have it when it is really hot because I don't think I had the dream very often when I lived on the coast, but the first summer I had in Portland I had the dream like 3 times.  What is really disturbing is how well I can picture those guys faces.  I mean even to the liver spots on the eggman's head.  Yes.  Liver spots.  As if it wasn't disturbing enough, he had to have those growdy things.

So... Does anybody else get recurring dreams?  I have a couple, but they are never newer dreams.  They are always dreams I had when I was a kid.  And by recurring I mean more than twice, because I notice I usually will have the same dream twice. I have it and within 7 days I have it again.  I don't know why.  It's like a double feature of the same film.  Or like when you don't have cable and they show the same movie of the week on ION for 3 months.

I don't have any photos to show.  Wait, I can take some.  Why do I look so much better in sephia than in techicolor?:


Admit it.  It's true.  God grant me a colorless world.

Anyway, I just wanted to say it's kind of warm today.  Not crack an egg on your head warm.  But kind of warm.  It's nice.

5 comments:

twelvedaysold said...

Where is your bottom lip in that first photo?

I just busted a gut reading your story, because I forgot about the ending. Killed me. But I'm okay now.

No reoccurring dreams here.

Mark Williams said...

I don't know who the first guy is but his brother is Sloth from the Goonies.

Hey you guys!!!

Mona said...

I have re-occurring disturbing dreams a lot. It must be hereditary. I don't know why Katie doesn't have them. She probably just doesn't remember them. She starts each day new, you know. ^_^
Dad didn't start to remember his dreams until he was in his 50's. He always said he didn't have any dreams but he'd often wake me up at night running away from some monster in his dream, making funny noises and all, so I don't know what he was talking about.

abkeuser said...

I have had a reccuring nightmare since i was six... the gist is that I'm running along a catwalk hudreds of feet above the ocean and I'm being chased by I Giant Bee, who over takes me and then skewers me with his stinger!

Jesse said...

I was reading an article about dreams awhile ago. And how most people have common nightmares. Though one this is pretty weird.
Anyhoo the nightmare's I always hated the most was the one's where my teeth are falling out.