A Lesson in Life.

1991: I am ten. I was in 5th grade and we had all just come back from after lunch recess.  My 5th grade teacher was standing in front of the class with one of my schoolmates Lainey Thompson.  Mrs. Galbreath said she needs a volunteer and we will probably miss social studies and possibly math. I hate math. My hand shoots up!

"Ok, Susan, you can help." She picked me! I was so happy. For two seconds and then the doom set in.

She informs me that Lainey has left her retainer on her lunch tray and threw the whole lot away.  I had just volunteered to help her dig through the dumpster to look for it. I don't remember a lot of things from 5th grade. I remember Mrs. Galbreath showing us a tampon during sex ed (horrified!) the principal making me cry (douche) Mom making the principal very sorry for making me cry (Supermom!) and looking for that retainer.

We went down to the cafeteria and the lunch ladies gave us plastic aprons and gloves and then opened the front of the dumpster so we could start digging through the trash bags.  I don't remember what lunch was, but I do remember it was chocolate milk day. I could tell Lainey felt bad, but she was getting no sympathy from me. This was disgusting.

We both just stood there outside the dumpster waiting for the other one to climb in.  She kept saying things like "This isn't so bad. We will find it in no time!"  I wasn't convinced. Finally she gingerly climbed in there and started to open the bags. I was mortified. What if someone sees me?  I thought about just swinging that door closed with her in it and walking home. But she looked so sad and pathetic in there I finally caved in and started to help look.

It was an effort in futility though because everything was drenched in thick, mucusy chocolate milk. I thought I found it every 30 seconds. Nope, orange peel.  Nope, yogurt top. Nope, something unidentifiable.

After an hour of digging in 95 degree heat with the chocolate milk starting to turn, I had had enough. There is only so much dry heaving one can do before you think "I didn't throw my retainer away. Why am I here?" I told Lainey I was done.  And here's the kicker.  She gave up then as well, so we never even found that stupid retainer.

Lesson: Never volunteer for anything. Ever.

My Plate.

So I joined My Plate last year in an effort to lose some weight.  I joined it again this year for the same reason.  I got my sister Christy to join with me and we are "friends" on it and can see each others profile.  I saw that Christy had actually written something in her diary.  It was something cute like "I'm tired, but I'm still going" and I thought "I want to write in my diary!"

I went to my profile to edit it and I saw that something was already in the "about me" section.  I figured I had written it last year when I joined.  "Oh," I thought, "what a delight to look upon myself in 1/2010."

Here's what it said:

About Me:
I'm a LiveStrong.com member who has not yet written anything for my 'About Me.'

Ha!  That's hilarious. 

Anyway, I don't really have anything to talk about, but I found a photo of the cherry pie I made at Christmas and I thought it turned out really cute so I will share that with you.

 

Also, this year I have decided to hand make all my Christmas gifts for my twelve family members.  It's going to be quite the project and it will be kind of a bummer because I won't be able to post what I am working on until after the end of the year.

I'm really excited about it though and have been combing through craft websites for inspiration.  I'll also being trying new things so that will be fun and daunting at the same time.

Have a great day and wonderful weekend!

Wordless Wednesday: Gimli. Fetch!

Oregonian Gurls, we're unforgettable...

Brown Ugg boots with sweat pants on top.

Sometimes I do this.  To make popular music more accessible to myself.  I mean seriously, I don't care how great of a body you have, what do you wear more of, bikini tops or sweat pants...  'Nuff said.

The first time I saw someone write 'Nuff said, I thought "Nuff said what?"

I have a special spoon exclusively for eating pudding.  It's a Gerber baby food spoon I found in my keepsake box.  I has a little imprint of the Gerber Baby on the handle and it's great for eating tapioca.

My favorite pudding is Tapioca.  I love those little cloudy nubblets.  I don't know what they are but they kind of look like the gross things you sometimes find in pepperoni, but they aren't gross, they are delicious.

When I first saw "The Departed" I had to keep calling my dad to ask what the derogatory words meant.  I had never heard half of them and the half I had heard I didn't know if it was derogatory toward the Irish or the Italians.  How's that for good parenting?

My nephew Andy plays the piano.

He plays really well.

And I'm posting my first video!

Please don't forget about my giveaway!  Deadline doesn't end until Sunday!

Unsafe at any speed.

Katie was in a car accident.  She is fine and the lady who she pulled out in front of is fine too.  I feel really bad for her because I know exactly how she feels.  I took a left turn right in front of somebody too when I was 17.  It is the worst feeling ever.

Luckily for Katie she has a very sympathetic family.  As of yesterday every member of my family has been in a car accident that was our fault and totaled at least one car (in my case it was two.)  It's weird because I wouldn't consider anybody in my family a bad driver (although the people we got into accidents with might disagree.)

After my first accident every adult child had already been in an accident and my mom made each of us a framed certificate and gave them to us for Christmas (my accident was on 12/3/1998.)  There is a picture of a tow truck on it and it says "The Williams Family.  Established 1973.  Our Motto: Unsafe at any Speed."

My mother was really hoping her baby would avoid the Williams family fate.  Unfortunately my father's bad luck with cars was genetically engineered into his children.  And so here it is the day after the accident.  A family made whole with mangled cars in our wake.

So here is a warning to the good people of Portland, Vancouver and Wilsonville.  We are out there.  We are driving in your neighbors, on your streets, in your school zones.  I suggest you drive defensively because heaven knows, we aren't. 

You have been warned.

Samson your hair, glistening like sun, oh would that it were mine...

I got a haircut!  I know it was about time.  My hair was getting really long and annoying.  I had started just always wearing it up or braided so I figured it was time for a change.  I usually go to a hairdresser that is really close to my house.  I always have the same lady and she isn't very nice and the cut costs forty bucks.  I don't know why I kept going there.  Wait, yes I do.  It was close to home.  And I would have gone there again except they are closed on Sundays and Mondays and those are my days off.

Katie always goes to this other place with my sister Christy.  It's called Bishops and she really likes them.  And now so do I.  Here are some unflattering before shots:

I'm wearing too much face powder.  Katie has her eyes closed.  Man, that is a good before shot.  It was pretty hot yesterday afternoon and as we are pulling into the parking lot at the hair salon I say to Katie, "I hope I don't have to shake hands with anyone because my hands are pretty sweaty."  Katie says, "Why would you have to shake hands with anyone."  I figured she was right, why would I?

We walk in and sign our names on a board and one minute later my hairdresser walks over and says, "Susan?"  I stand up and he holds out his hand and says, "Hi, my name is Blah."  Yeah, I don't remember what his name was.  Not because my hands were sweaty, but because I'm really bad about people introducing themselves to me.

I loved Blah.  We talked the whole time about Project Runway and ANTP.  I think he expected me to be afraid about cutting my hair, but I never am.  Maybe it's because the Williams women grow hair really fast.  Maybe it's because I hacked all my hair off when I was sixteen and I didn't die.  Maybe it's because I watch ANTP and every time they do the make-overs some snotty girl cries and it makes me mad inside my head.

Blah said his favorite thing was cutting off lots of hair.  Yay for him, I guess.  It took forever though and Katie came over after her haircut and we all chatted about Katie going to ComicCon and craft festivals and bodysuits.  So yeah, go see Blah at Bishops, he's cool.  Here's some after shots:

You like that facebook shot of me?  Ugh, I hate when girls do that, but I totally see why.  Look how cute I am!!

Anyway, we get in the car after our hair cut on the way to Sushi and Katie asks, "Did you have to shake hands with Blah?"  Apparently she shook hands with her lady hairdresser too.  Told you.  It's the curse of sweaty hands.

If you hands are wet

You can surely bet

you'll be shaking hands

with Blah and Yvette.

Actually Katie's hairdresser's name was Annie.  I remember because Katie wrote her name down when she signed in as her preferred hairdresser.  I left mine blank because I didn't care.  If I see the name written down I will remember because I will have a visual memory to look back on.  Verbal doesn't do the trick.

Look who came to visit yesterday morning:

He looks scary in that photo like he is hissing, but he is just meowing.

Gosh, as if you don't get enough photos of Cinnamon on Katie's blog.

Burn the land and boil the sea.

Will someone turn the heat down?  My hands are sweaty and it's hard to write my blog.

I haven't figured out a way to get the cool air from the air conditioned room into my spare room where my computer is.  I was going to take a photo of the current system, but my bedroom looks like a bomb exploded in there.  IT'S TOO HOT TO CLEAN!

Great!  Now the backs of my knees are getting sweaty.  We better make this quick.

It's July.  My favorite picture is on the calender.  It's shows a piglet diving into a lake while a duck wrapped in a towel watches from the shore.

I started a new craft project.  I wanted to start making some more things for mom's shop so they would be ready for Christmas shoppers.  They are potholders.  I know!  Potholders?  Sheesh.  Haven't I made enough of those yet?  But these are different and cool and I'm hoping they sell.

Oh and I want to say one thing about this Mel Gibson stuff.  Everybody is all shocked and appalled by him and HELLO! he did the same thing five years ago when I originally started boycotting him (give or take, it's too hot to look up facts.)  I have not knowingly watched a movie that Mel Gibson has been a part of for five years.  Everybody always makes fun of my boycotting things, but if we all banded together things might actually change.  If everybody canceled their cable tomorrow, you can bet your bottom dollar prices would come way down.  But the fact remains that no one but me and Katie are willing to go without cable.  Although she hasn't boycotted Mel Gibson one bit.  Kept trying to talk me into seeing that Apocalypto movie.  And NO, I HAVEN'T SEEN AVATAR BECAUSE I'M BOYCOTTING JAMES CAMERON FOR BEING A NOT VERY NICE PERSON.

Alright, I'm off.  I'll leave you with this so you don't think I've gone mad.

The duck:

 The pig:

The big picture:

I am the maker of my destiny: I am the captain of my soul.

Hey!  If you are enjoying this blog, please follow me.  It's super easy if you have a gmail account, just log in using your google password.  If you don't have a gmail account, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?  It's the wave of the future.  I think google sells your searching info to the government, but other than that it is totally awesome.  So get a gmail account and then sign up to follow my blog.  It's the right thing to do.

I just ate four otter pops.

A girl I work with said she didn't think she would have enough to blog about if she had a blog.  I told her she didn't really need anything to blog about.  Boy howdy, was I right.

I laid in bed for about ten minutes last night with the light on and admired my curtains.  It's amazing how some curtains can really make a room look so much better.  It's so nice having that pop of red on the walls.  I wish I were a homeowner and could paint my walls.  That would be so nice.

I really have nothing to write about.  I'm packing for my trip right now and I'll be gone all weekend.  Yay!!  Hopefully I will come back and have photos and things to talk about.

I watched Invictus tonight.  Is it bad to say that I found it really boring?  And long?  And for some reason I thought it was about a soccer team when it is actually about a rugby team.  Did you know that?  I'm sure you did, but I didn't.  How do they play that game?  It looks so bizarre.  I really should read up about it on wikipedia.  That thing where they all lock arms and push into each other, what was that about?  Or they climb all over each other and make a pyramid and then throw the ball.  It was so weird.  It's like cricket.  I have no idea how that is played either and I probably never will.  I just don't care enough.

Alright, I'm off.  Have a great weekend and a Happy 4th of July!!

And she speaks inside a cloud.

I can't believe the weekend is almost over.  I am actually getting a lot of stuff accomplished.  This may surprise you, but I can be rather lazy about housework and crafts.  I love a clean house and completed crafts, but the whole process of getting there can be too tedious for me sometimes.

I had a ton of laundry to do, I did it.  My bathroom was dirty, I cleaned it.  My eyebrows needed plucking, I plucked them.  Curtains needed to be made for the bedroom, I made them.  Well I'm in the process of making them.  I got a little frustrated and then decided to clean the bathroom.  You don't have to measure anything to clean the bathroom.  Now I have the shower curtain soaking in soapy bleach water in the tub.  And my eyes are red because I'm allergic to bleach.  At least I remembered to wear rubber gloves this time.

I'm going out of town next weekend for 4th of July.  I'm excited because I haven't been out of town since before Christmas.  And it's also kind of why I'm doing a big push to get all this little stuff done.  I don't want to come home from vacation with a filthy house waiting for me.  Been there, done that.  It's a sure trigger for depression.

So I was just going to have a bit of a lie down last night at 8pm and I woke up at 6:30 this morning.  Whoops!  That sounds like something an old person would do.  And I woke up a little disoriented because the last thing I remember thinking was, oh I'm not tired after all, maybe I will watch a movie.  That's the thing about being an insomniac, if you don't need the sleep, you will get it, if you do need it, you won't.

Alright, I have to rinse that shower curtain and get started on folding this mountain of laundry.

Stay tuned for pictures of the new bedroom curtains.  If I ever figure out how to actually sew in a straight line.  Which is surprisingly difficult.

Oh and if you need something new to listen to try Gamma Ray by Beck.  I forgot how much I love Beck.  This song makes me want to take a road trip.

Things I love.

1) Remember the Monday after Easter how mom would always pack an egg salad sandwich in your lunch and you would be so excited to eat it that you would eat half of it at the bus stop and then be horribly disappointed at lunch time when you only had half a sandwich left?  No?  Well then I'm a pig.

2) Or when mom was sick and dad had to pack your lunch and when you opened your sandwich it was one thick slice of ham on rye bread with a glob of mayo and that's it.  Also horribly disappointing.  I didn't love it then, but it makes me smile now.  Every kid needs a dad to pack their lunch every once in while so they will appreciate mom more.

3) That wonderful feeling after taking a shower, putting on clean pj's and crawling into brand new, clean, crisp sheets.  Will someone change my sheets?  I'll be in the shower.

4) This:

Bouncy Castles are exhausting!!

5) The fact that Ken asked if adults could jump on them too and the girl said yes.

6) I love that dad thinks Junior Mints give you kidney stones.

7) And the fact that mom shaved her legs before going to hospital.  Even though she was already in labor with Ben.

8) That the sun is out finally and maybe I can hang up some clothes on my clothes line this weekend.

9) That sometimes I can hear Katie doing DDR at her house at night.

10) And angry eyes.